Antonio Damasio's insight that “We are not thinking machines that feel; rather, we are feeling machines that think” highlights a profound truth about the human condition, especially relevant to leadership.

In essence, every leader is a CEO, not just a Chief Executive Officer, but more crucially, a "Chief Emotional Officer." At the heart of human interaction and motivation lies the fundamental need for validation. Each person yearns to be seen, heard, appreciated, and understood.

Reflect for a moment on a time when you felt a lack of approval, appreciation, or recognition. It’s an uncomfortable feeling that can foster a sense of alienation. Notably, the primary reason top talent leaves a company is often due to a lack of appreciation. This is backed by research from the Harvard Business Review, which found that employees whose managers are proficient in showing recognition are 40% more engaged. This not only boosts morale but also brings numerous benefits including enhanced confidence, better communication, increased motivation, and lower turnover intentions.

However, a troubling statistic from a Zippia Survey reveals that 29% of employees haven’t received any recognition for their work in over a year. An Indeed Survey further supports this, showing that 30% of employees who resigned within the first six months might have stayed if their efforts were acknowledged more. This clearly illustrates a critical gap that needs filling—the insatiable human need for acceptance, approval, and validation, a challenge that lies squarely on the shoulders of every leader.

So, where should a leader begin?

The wisdom from Proverbs 25:11 states,

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”

This suggests that the practice of giving ‘RAEs’: Recognition, Appreciation, and Encouragement, is a good starting point. Like plants needing sunlight to thrive, your team requires these elements to flourish.

A personal insight came to me during Darren Hardy's The Hero's Journey in 2021. While I thought I was adept at giving praise, it was only after I began tracking it that I realized both the scarcity and ineffectiveness of my efforts. There’s truth in the sayings, "what you focus on expands" and "what gets measured gets done." Starting your own praise tracker could illuminate opportunities and help build momentum in this vital area.

Darren Hardy offers some tips for effective recognition:

Be specific: Address the behavior, not just the outcome.
Be timely: Acknowledge contributions as they happen, or soon after.
Be unique: Ensure your recognition stands out.
Be balanced: Focus on recognizing 'the extra', not just meeting expectations.

As Hardy succinctly puts it,

“People work harder for praises than raises. Team members don’t leave jobs; they leave leaders.”

It underscores your role as a leader to ensure your team feels valued. How many RAEs will you aim to deliver today? Why not set a goal for ten?

Leadership is about more than directing operations and managing resources; it is profoundly about emotional stewardship. By embracing the role of a Chief Emotional Officer, you empower, engage, and inspire your team to greater heights.

The Art of Leadership: Becoming a Chief Emotional Officer

So, where should a leader begin?

Darren Hardy offers some tips for effective recognition:

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